Shit that nobody needs

There is just some shit that nobody on the face of the earth needs. 

Like this thing that is on its way to me.

I don’t need it, yet I couldn’t live without it. Because this thing will make the best pancake flipper that ever was.

It will also go with the theme of “house from found objects” that I’m going for.

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The insanity ends now…

…until next weekend, when I do the same shit all over again expecting different results.

This is what happens to my home on weekends, because I work weekends and don’t have time to adult or house.

Normally,  I’m one of those “a place for everything and everything in its place” kind of girl. Normally I limit the amount of stuff that comes into my home; if I get new shoes/pants/whatever, I get rid of an old one. One in, one out.

With the house starting to actually look like a house or something,  I’ve been relaxing that “one in one out” rule somewhat.

Side note: Let’s get honest. I’ve just thrown that fucking rule right out the window.

I’ve been keeping things, because I’m about to have space for things. I can have more than 9 pairs of shoes.

Side note: Let’s get honest. I don’t think I’ve ever owned only 9 pairs of shoes.

Weekends, I’m so tired when I get home that I just stuff shit wherever it will fit. Which means that Mondays are spent unfucking my habitat.

Now, I’m off to do some unfucking. Wish me luck!

Get your shit together, Cindy

I’m sitting here looking at all this yarn that needs to be crocheted into coffee cup sleeves for the food truck coffee bar next door to my work. The owner took some on consignment from me a couple of weeks ago and was almost out last weekend when I left work. 

Then there’s the yarn meant for the Christmas if tsunami I need to start crocheting.

Underneath almost hat fucking yarn is a half a case of starkrimson pears that need to be turned into jam or some such. 

Underneath the pears is a tub full of bottled, sparkling,  flavored water that needs to be added to the refrigerator. Or something. 

Beneath the galvanized tub of water is the sugar I need to make jam out of the pears. There’s also a stack of books to be read.

Next door to that bin of sugar and pile of books is my fall decoration display.  What the fuck I’m doing with a fall display IN A FUCKING RV is beyond my comprehension. 

With all this stuff on my to-do list, what am I sitting here contemplating? 

A fucking closet purge.

Somebody send professional help, because I probably need an intervention. 

I don’t math well

I recently ordered some coat hangers via the Internet.  Screaming pink velvet flocked slimline hangers. 50 shirt hangers, and 50 hangers I could drape pants over. I got excited about having a real closet again. One with lots of light, bright colors in it. 

Obviously,  I didn’t think that one through very well. 50 + 50 = 100, right?

Somehow, I neglected to factor that equation into my decision making process. I failed to consider what the fuck I’m as even going to do with 100 screaming pink velvet flocked slimline hangers. I don’t have hanging space for that many fucking clothes in this RV. I don’t have anywhere to stash 100 hangers in this RV. 

I did go ahead and swap out my current black, grey, and cream colored velvet flocked slimline hangers. I used just over half of the shirt hangers and just under half of the ones to drape pants over. Now I had giant piles of unused screaming pink velvet flocked slimline hangers AND a mismatched pile of black, grey, and cream velvet flocked slimline hangers to deal with.

I gathered all of the matching black shirt and pants hangers and made sure all of Sunshine’s clothing was all on matched hangers and saved the rest of them for when he has more hanging space. The mismatched black, grey, and cream hangers are in my truck waiting for me to take them to the charity shops as a donation. 

I have stashed the matching pink hangers at Indian the matching black hangers in the driver’s seat of the magic bus. Next time I get ready to order some shit, y’all make me do the maths first,  please?

Never ending tetris games

For the last 7 years (and counting), my life has been a never ending game of tetris. In order to do anything in this RV, I have to rearrange most of the room I plan to do that thing in. It’s exhausting.

I’ve noticed that my tetris games get so much messier when Sunshine isn’t here. I’m not sure why that it, but it’s definitely a pattern; and I’ve only really noticed it this last couple of days. I’ll get into a small project (like laundry, or putting away groceries) and most of the inside of the RV looks like a tornado went through it. Hell, sometimes even the OUTSIDE of the RV looks like that, what with all the empty boxes and bags of trash and/or donations that go flying out the door to be dealt with all at once when I walk outside for something else and wind up tripping over it all.

Maybe it gets messier when Sunshine isn’t here because I don’t have to listen to him gripe about how my activity is keeping him from being able to watch TV peacefully. Or maybe it’s because he gets so impatient with the inconvenience of having to maneuver around the mess of an upended kitchen while I’m canning. Whatever, I just know I feel freer to actually get things properly cleaned and organized when he isn’t here.

I’m sick of having to dismantle my kitchen and living room every time I want to can something, or cook more than a simple one pot meal. This new house can’t get finished soon enough for me. I’m so over the nonstop games of tetris. I’m tired of the never ending musical chairs game I have to play in this RV.

As excited as I am to have a small house with more storage, I’m also terrified of it. See, Sunshine has a lot of stuff. More stuff than we can fit into the RV. Every time I clean out space in here, he immediately fills it with more stuff. Sunshine is that guy who personifies the axiom about “the amount of stuff one has will automatically expand to completely fill all the space allotted to it and start taking over everybody else’s stuff’s space “. I know this to be true because I’ve seen it happen over and over again since we moved in here on July 1, 2010.

I don’t know how to stop his insanity so that it doesn’t take over our little house, but I’m definitely going to have to find a way. The never ending games of tetris are exhausting.

I got zero understanding

Mr B brought his RV home from the dealership where he had it on consignment. He and Mrs B used it for a couple of weeks at the lake, then Mr B sold it outright to a different RV dealer.

While it sat here waiting for all this stuff to happen to it, Mr B did some minor things to it. I have no idea what those things were, I just know that it has been at least month since I saw him up on a ladder doing things to the RV.

Today, while walking around the yard with Mollie, I was struck by this:

ladder to nowhere

Part of me wanted to just scratch my head and wonder why on earth there is a ladder to nowhere in the middle of the yard. However, there’s a bigger part of me that knows that it fits the pattern around here: Mr B takes out thing, uses thing, leaves thing where he got done using it.

Welcome to my world, where ladders to nowhere are a thing.