More motivation than I hought

So I’m actually a day behind on posts about actual events going on in my life. I like to have a post scheduled for the upcoming day so that I don’t go radio silent just because I got hyper focused on some task or another. Which means yesterday’s post about to-do lists was actually about the things I wanted to do Tuesday. 

My sponsor told me to put everything on it: eat lunch, do yoga, cook Mollie’s dinner…. Her reasoning was sound so I rolled with it. She said that it gave me more things I could cross off my list. I also liked that it reminded me to take care of myself instead of just beating myself up by getting hyper focused on the tasks at hand; because I’ll totally forget to eat if I’m in the middle of something big.

Anyway, this post is being written Wednesday for publication on Thursday. So I’m talking about my yesterday, which will be 2 days ago for you guys. 

Side note: I should probably stop thinking about that statement before I create a rip in the space-time continuum. 

Anyways… even though it may not LOOK like I got a lot done yesterday, the magic bus certainly FEELS cleaner. I’m totally shocked at how much I got done.

I even made at Christmas gift in the midst of all that activity.

There’s still quite a bit to do, but I’m not feeling as overwhelmed by it all.

So, maybe telling on myself to my sponsor, my BFF, and the world at large actually gave me some motivation to do all that shit. So thank you for your help!

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So much to do, so little motivation to do it

My bathroom is in desperate need of a thorough cleaning. My kitchen isn’t in much better shape, even though there aren’t mustache hairs in the kitchen sink. The floors are gritty. There are random piles of yarn,  gift wrap, hunting clothes, Christmas gifts, and fuck knows what the hell else in every nook and cranny and open space in the magic bus.

I currently have no place to put our Christmas tree, and I’m not NOT having a tree. I tried that our first year in the magic bus and I didn’t like it–not one little bit.

I’ve started crocheting Christmas gifts, but that’s going much too slowly. I’ve been wrapping things as they arrive in the various delivery trucks. I’m disgusted with myself for not being creative enough to come up with more gifts that I can MAKE instead of buy; but ultimately, I have to be realistic and admit that I can’t make Sunshine a rifle scope and I can’t make a soft latex squeak toy like Mollie prefers to play with.

Side note:  seriously, she’s often a picky little bitch. She doesn’t much like the stuffed plush toys any more, and she doesn’t often play with the stiffer latex (plastic, rubber, whatever?) squeak toys; she likes the softer latex squeal toys.

So this week, I’m making myself a to-do list. I’ll also be making a to-done list so I don’t get discouraged by a lack of easily visible progress. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post about my handmade Christmas gifts real soon.

I’m putting this out there so that I can feel somewhat accountable. I’m also going to be telling my sponsor and my BFF about it so they can hold me accountable, too. I’ve got to get my ass in gear, because the house ain’t gon’ clean itself and the presents ain’t gon’ make themselves. So wish me luck, and pray to the house cleaning gods that I don’t get buried under a pile of random shit that has toppled over.

Uninspired

I’ve been feeling a bit uninspired here lately. Part of it is probably attributable to physical pain from aggravating old hip & back injuries; but I don’t think that covers all of it. Maybe there’s some seasonal affective disorder going on.

Whatever, it is what it is and what it is needs to be over because I’m starting to hit crunch time for making Christmas gifts. They might all be “smalls” and not big-ass blankets or whatever, but there are a lot of them, so time’s a’wastin’ and shit.

So, what did I do yesterday?

If you guessed “not Christmas presents”, ding ding ding you win a cardboard cookie!

I made a throw pillow out of an old pair of straight-leg suede pants (such a beautiful dark chocolate color!) Because I don’t already have too many fucking pillows on the bed.

So, I’m writing about my lack of motivation to be productive in hopes that a written record would hold me accountable. It works in my 12 step recovery, so maybe it will work for Christmas gifts.

For our nuclear families, I’m making full sets of cleaning items: machine washable sniffers, dust mitts, bottle scrubbers, blind cleaners, kitchen sponges, and so on. My girl Tia counts as nuclear family, as far as I’m concerned, so that’s a sixth set of cleaning implements to crochet.

For my boss and his wife, hats in their favorite colors. 

For Biff (aka Goldilocks), a hat and a stocking that will be stuffed with little gifts + the hat. I’m on the hunt for some seeds that will sprout twinkies for him, since he considers twinkies to be there own food group that is indispensable to life. So far, my search has been fruitless.

I had wanted to crochet a blanket for Sunshine, but that ship has long since sailed for this year, so maybe next year I’ll get started on that in time.

I’m also fairly certain that I’m forgetting a number of people that I’ll wind up making gifts for, but really… I’ll worry about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is all other day.

Overachiever much?

Actually,  no. I don’t. 

Yesterday was an anomaly.  After I posted all the things on my to-do list  and that what I was contemplating was a closet purge… Well, I made a decision to tackle the to-do list and my rewards for a morning of productivity would be the closet purge.

I never made it to the closet purge.

I did accomplish a lot, though.

I got the jam made and the pears are gone (except for the 6 remaining pears that I split between our house and Mr B’s house). I forgot to take any pictures of the disastrous tetris game my house became while I was canning, and I also forgot to take pictures of my little rows of cinnamon pear jam. That shit was yummy, though. Mr B and I cleaned the pot with spoons and our fingers.

Side note: this time, I used the pectin designed for sugar-free jams and it worked like a freaking charm. Now I need to get the boss to get me some cantaloupes so I can make some vanilla cantaloupe jam for the EcoFeminist (and anybody else that wants some needs to let me know so I know how much crap to buy to make enough for everyone).

After the marathon jam session with the pears, I actually got some of the coffee cup sleeves made for the coffee shop next to my work.

It’s nowhere near enough to meet demand, but it should hold her over til I can bring more on Sunday when I work again.

I also managed to get the compost bucket emptied onto the heap (with a bit of help from Sunshine), I got the bottled water somewhat dealt with (some bagged up to go to work and some in the fridge for Sunshine.  I put the books in the tube with the remaining bottles of water, and Mr B took the autumn harvest decorations outside until I can get them cracked open to harvest the seeds. 

I also received two shipments; and I got the items put away and the packaging got disposed of. One package was new sneakers, the other was the pendant lights for the bedroom of our little house. Sunshine says we’ll go get our shower plumbing fixtures this weekend. We’re finally getting into the fun parts of house building! 

Yesterday was frenetic and left me wiped out. Someone send chocolate,  please?

Get your shit together, Cindy

I’m sitting here looking at all this yarn that needs to be crocheted into coffee cup sleeves for the food truck coffee bar next door to my work. The owner took some on consignment from me a couple of weeks ago and was almost out last weekend when I left work. 

Then there’s the yarn meant for the Christmas if tsunami I need to start crocheting.

Underneath almost hat fucking yarn is a half a case of starkrimson pears that need to be turned into jam or some such. 

Underneath the pears is a tub full of bottled, sparkling,  flavored water that needs to be added to the refrigerator. Or something. 

Beneath the galvanized tub of water is the sugar I need to make jam out of the pears. There’s also a stack of books to be read.

Next door to that bin of sugar and pile of books is my fall decoration display.  What the fuck I’m doing with a fall display IN A FUCKING RV is beyond my comprehension. 

With all this stuff on my to-do list, what am I sitting here contemplating? 

A fucking closet purge.

Somebody send professional help, because I probably need an intervention. 

Famous last words…

“I’ll deal with that tomorrow.”

Except I never do. Between work, building a house, and chronic illness? I’ve been putting off a lot of shit because I don’t have the time or energy to deal with it.

I’m looking around this morning, and I’m seeing how that’s worked out for me. Hint: not very well at all.

So today, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I strained some muscles yesterday at work, I’ve got some of Sunshine’s work pants that need a button sewn on them (although, seeing as how this is the 3rd or 4th time for this particular pair of pants it’s probably time to retire them), 

a pair of Sunshine’s pajamas to replace the drawstring in, 

a truck bed full of rotting pumpkins to add to the compost heap plus mums to transplant,

laundry to do, 

a house to clean, 

dinner to plan and cook, Christmas gifts to start making,

and a whole host of other things I’m sure I’m forgetting about. 

I guess the moral of this story is that procrastination is a silent killer. 

Final note: Sunshine just spontaneously announced that he probably needs to go buy some work pants, and that new pajamas were probably a good idea too. Maybe it DID pay to procrastinate?

It’s Monday

It’s Monday, which is normally my Saturday.

I know, it makes no sense.

I normally work on Fridays and Sundays, which makes Friday my Monday and Sunday my Friday, and Mondays are usually my Saturdays. However, I worked every day this past weekend, and I’m working this morning. I don’t know what day it is supposed to be for me.

I’m tired. I slept the sleep of the dead last night, and I’m still tired this morning.

I’m supposed to be learning to can jam today or tomorrow, and I don’t know if I have it in me. I have too many other things on the list, and I only have so many spoons. I am going to have to prioritize, which is easier said than done. I need to flash freeze some backdoor fruit, but I have no room in the freezers. If I made jam out of the blackberries, I’d have room in the freezer. I have a garden that I need to walk through and harvest what’s ready, but I have no room in my fridge because there’s too much backdoor fruit and squash from the neighbors in there. Even if I did have the spoons, I don’t know where I would even start.

side note: making jam would be the obvious choice. It would free up a lot of freezer space and get these cases of canning jars out of my way inside my house. Then I could flash freeze all this shit in my fridge. After that I could harvest stuff from my garden, at which point I’d have to start the cycle all over again.

I’m starting to talk in circles, aren’t I?

Let’s start a new circle, shall we?

Household chores. Thank heaven I cleaned this place within an inch of its life last week. It means I can hit the high spots this week and pray that next weekend doesn’t turn out like this past one so that I can get some rest and be ready for my own life next week instead of having to be the only adult at the produce stand. Laundry is so backed up it’s scary, and I actually managed to get a load done over the course of the last three days. Now I just have to fold it before I head to work this morning. Sunshine just brought me over a gallon of hydrogen peroxide leftovers that he bought for a job cleaning some mildew stains off of some very light colored stone columns; I’m not sure what the fuck I’m going to do with that shit but I am sure that we shouldn’t have to buy peroxide for the next millennium.

I’ve got to squeeze in an appointment with my primary soon, too. I still haven’t gotten a call from the mental health provider to get me started there, so I’m relying on my primary to keep me in meds until I can get in at mental health.

I’m completely ignoring the elephant in the middle of our house build site. I just can’t think about that today. I’ll worry about that tomorrow; after all, tomorrow is another day.