…that I miss state toothpaste.
State toothpaste is that wonderful, multipurpose substance issued to guests of the gated communities that the government uses to manage the lives of those who’s lives have become unmanageable. I was one of those people before I got clean. State toothpaste is made by the Bob Barker Company. No, not that Bob Barker from “the price is right”; just some dude with the same name somewhere in the Carolinas or somewhere like that.
State toothpaste is good for many things, including (but not limited to): brushing one’s teeth, gluing stuff to cinder block walls, treating pimples, taking paint off of metal bunks, cleaning one’s sneakers, and bleaching one’s clothes. Bonus points for whoever figured out that the best way to clean your whites in the gated community is to take state soap, state toothpaste, and the blue wrapper from a package of rolling papers; make a paste with it, and pretreat any spots; then the remaining paste gets watered down until it is the consistency of liquid detergent and used to wash said whites.
This morning, I realized that I need to clean my shoes and boots. Most of my sneakers have white soles, and the white was no longer white.
Since I’m not willing to revisit the gated community to get some state toothpaste, my best free-world alternative is Pepsodent toothpaste. However, with the gas crisis happening in the state of Texas thanks to Harvey, I’m not driving to town for Pepsodent toothpaste.
So I broke out the next best alternative.
I’ve still got all the other pairs left to clean, and I’m bored with the task already. However, I need to make my shoes last so I can take the money I would have spent on new shoes and use it to buy some things for the house. I’ll finish cleaning my sneakers with baking soda, then I’ll bust out the leather cleaner, leather conditioner, and leather sealer; and I’ll deal with my boots.
There’s something calming in the simplicity and repetition of the task, at least; and I can take comfort in knowing that I’m being responsible and not adding to a glut of used clothes and shoes flooding charity shops and resale stores and African villages and whatever else they do with all those things we donate to feel better about ourselves.
Final note: I’m not judging anybody who does donate stuff to charity shops, because I do it too. It’s definitely better than tossing things into a landfill. I’m just trying to do my part to stem the tide of cast-offs from so much consumption. If you like to stay on top of the latest trends, that’s great (I really mean that, I get it, I like clothes and shoes too); just be sure to donate the cast-offs so they don’t wind up in landfills. Even the torn and ruined garments don’t go to a landfill when donated, they get sold to textile recyclers.