I believe life is full of contradictions, and that that’s what keeps it interesting.

I know that I’m a walking contradiction most days, because I don’t fit the profile. I don’t look like the image most people have of an addict or a felon.

Yesterday, I realized that there are many areas where I’m a total contradiction. I realized it as i sat cross legged on my yoga mat, puffing away with my vape mod (e-cigarette).

It got me to thinking about all the contradictions in my daily life. Back when i drove a Volvo, I’m pretty sure they didn’t design that car with me in mind. I used to blast Metallica as I drove down the road in my shot up jeans and my distressed sweaters and badass boots.

I’m quite the city girl. I don’t want to be out here in the middle of nowhere. I love being in the city (which is weird for an introvert). I love the energy of a city, and the fact that I can be in the city without being part of the madness. My apartment in downtown Shreveport was my dream come true (I just wish it had been a bigger city). Yet here I am, out in the middle of nowhere. I’m growing vegetables and feeding chickens and gathering eggs and canning foods and it all feels so strange because I know us rather be sitting on a patio at a restaurant watching the crowds flow by as I enjoy lunch.

I’m a girl, yet I enjoyed my job as a stagehand. I had to love it or I wouldn’t have put up with the lack of females in the industry. I’m a girl, yet I dont like “girly” things. I don’t do my nails, I don’t wear a lot of makeup, and I stomp around like somebody on a military march instead of that graceful single line stomp we see from runway models.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, or what my point might be. I am, however, interested in hearing from you guys: how are you a walking contradiction?


Tool time

Time to dump some random pics from my phone, so today’stheme is tools. Rude Ass has a new tape measure, and the end of it is magnetic. It sticks to the metal you’remeasuring from and I didn’t know I needed this thing that I did not know existed but yeah now I need one of these in my life. Then there’s this stocking stuffer I saw and almost bought just because girls like tools too. Especially when they’re chocolate. In the meantime, I’m in the kitchen abusing my new chef’s knife because I’m too lazy to go out in the cool damp air and search for a hammer to bust open gourds to harvest the seeds. So far, it has made a decent hammer and saw so I think I’m getting my money’s worth out of this one.

How does your garden grow?

As I wandered around yesterday morning before work, I noticed some strange shit happening in my garden.

Something is disappearing my corn plants. 

We think it’s dogs. Mr B”s daughter’s new doberman puppy is snazzy as hell, and just romps around wherever the urge strikes him to go.

I also noticed that random shit is sprouting wherever it feels like sprouting.

I even have corn sprouting in my row of peas.

Like, I don’t even know what some of this shit is, because it looks like nothing we’ve tried to plant here since we started trying to grow our own food.

At least my pea plants are thriving.

I guess this random shit is sprouting from seeds of whatever backdoor food got tossed in the compost heap. It’s random, weird, and interesting all at once.

Part of me wants to just spread some compost around a patch of unsowed earth to see what springs up, but I really don’t have time for that. I’ve got Serrano peppers to deal with, peaches to deal with, pears to deal with, laundry to do, and a house to build. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Final note: my boss has returned home, safe & sound. He would probably still be trapped down there or even dead if it weren’t for the kindness of a stranger named Manuel who sheltered and fed my boss and then drove him home to Dallas when no rental cars could be found anywhere. Whoever & wherever you are, Manuel–thank you. You are a shining example of the best of humanity. #houstonstrong

Heat wave

I haven’t posted in a couple of days. We’re in the middle of a heat wave, and I had the day trip from hell on Tuesday. I spent most of Tuesday in a vehicle, with my little Mollie, in this heat wave that feels like the gates of hell have opened up because Sam and Dean Winchester did something stupid, scorching the earth; and there is no Castiel to save us.

Mollie has had something going on with her little forelegs and paws. I finally decided that enough is enough; it was time to take her to the doctor. Pancho had some things to take care of in Shreveport anyway, and Sunshine made arrangements for me to pick up some freegan windows for our little house, and a replacement for my dying Volvo while I was over there and had Pancho to help me get it home.

side note: Pancho was a mechanic in a previous incarnation. He doesn’t want to do mechanicking for a living anymore, but he’s willing to do a bit of it to help out around here.

I wound up spending a lot of time in the Volvo, parked in the shade, waiting on things to happen. Even in the shade, my car’s air conditioner could not keep up. I had started to wonder if I was having hot flashes until I saw this:

108 according to volvo

This might explain why I was hot as fuck inside a car with cold air conditioning that was parked in the shade.

It ain’t even August yet, people. Someone summon Castiel before I have to make a deal with the King of Hell to end this heatwave.

final note: Mollie was diagnosed with a generalized, widespread yeast infection. Her skin and ears were examined, tested, and treated. I was sent home with a ridiculous amount of medications, creams, drops, and potions. I spent $300 trying to save my little Mollie from some very miserable itching on her legs & feet and in her ears. Mr B spent $46 to get his pit bull seen by a local vet for a very similar issue on her side. Mollie’s doctor got into some very aggressive treatment, since this is not the first time Mollie has had an infection like this and is apparently one of the doxies that is predisposed to contract yeast infections very easily. Hopefully, my poor furbaby starts getting some relief.

Going all in

So, I told you about the ridiculous couch I picked for my little house. Well, this week I bought some ridiculous throw pillows to go with the ridiculous couch. I went maximal.

I went for texture, and a bit of sheen, and a hint of purple.

There are two sets of the printed and pleated pillows, accounting for four of the six pillows I bought. The printed one reads black and gold in the pics, but it’s not black. It’s a deep brown that has a purple undertone. My accent colors are going to be deep blues and purples, so the couch can have some purple pillows to tie it all together.

Then there are the two oddball pillows that I just couldn’t say no to.

Yep, that’s a faux mink pillow and a faux silk dupioni with embroidery.

I have no words for myself.

final note: the pillows came from the thrift shop, and cost me a grand total of $13. I’ll give them a good cleaning (along with the couch) before they enter my house