I know I interact with a lot of moms on here, so happy mothers day to each of you.
I’m sitting here at work, missing my mom. She wasn’t home when I tried to call her on my drive in, but you can bet I left an annoying message on her answering machine. Yes, my mother is a bit of a luddite, and uses an answering machine rather than voice mail. When I get her machine on her birthday, I sing to it. Very badly.
Enough about me, this is supposed to be about my mom.
I can’t find words to express just how fucking amazing my mom is. She pretty much raised us three kids single-handedly as my dad was sick for many years before he passed. She’s not my genetic mom, but you’d never know that by the way she acts and treats us all. My mom taught me to be strong, independent, and polite. She taught me that hard work won’t kill me, and that a clean house helps declutter my mind (although I didn’t turn out quite so OCD about it as she still is). She taught me to question everything, then gets annoyed with me when I question everything.
My mom is a classic case of “still waters run deep”. She isn’t prone to great displays of emotion; yet she feels things very deeply. She’s great at hiding her anger when that is an appropriate response. She’s doesn’t talk or laugh loudly in public. She doesn’t cry much in front of others. She is always gracious and polite, no matter how much she dislikes something or someone.
In spite of all that, if you know my mom, you know what is going on inside. There’s a certain look in her eyes when she’s raging; if the offense is a wrong against someone she loves, the entire world will know she is raging (most especially if it’s her kids being wronged). In the privacy of her own home, she doesn’t hesitate to raise her voice when her children need to be told to “get some act right”. Those of us who know her know when she’s laughing her ass off inside, and when she’s concentrating really hard on something (she has her tells, and I’ll never reveal them while she’s alive, she deserves some secrets). When she doesn’t like something or someone, those who know her can see the sharp points of the icicles hanging from her polite and gracious words.
My mom dealt with a lot when I was young: sick husband, full time job, three kids, a house and 10 acres of land, and my burgeoning addiction. She survived all of it; and somehow, nothing got neglected so that we survived all of it too.
The most amazing thing about my mom is that she never disowned me, no matter how bad the insanity of my addiction got. When I got clean, my mom was right there willing to let me build a new relationship with her. She has been a great help in my recovery, because she still won’t co-sign any of my horseshit; yet she also knows when I just need the comfort of mom for a moment and is always there with it.
My mom is a superhero, and I’ll kick your ass within an inch of its life if you dare to suggest otherwise. (I doubt any of you would, you’re all too kind for that sort of thing, which is why I love you.)