Notes from the road: day 4

I’ve spent a couple of days in Georgia,  hanging out with family. I’m out of clean clothes that mom approves of, so it’s time to head home. 

I’m not heading home empty handed, either. My sister & her husband have been combining households, and a lot of stuff is finding new homes. I’ve got myself a comforter set, some patio chairs, lots of pillows and towels, flatware, and the dishes we used at my childhood home.

I’ve also got a full heart, because I finally have a decent relationship with the family I put through hell for all the years of my active addiction. That’s a precious gift.

I’ve had a great visit, but it’s time to go home. I miss my husband and my furbaby Mollie. Home is where the heart is, and mine lives in two states.

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Notes from the road: day 2

I’m standing here in my mom’s kitchen drinking coffee.

Side note: why didn’t I stop for half&half on my way last night? 0% fat milk just isn’t working.

Mom’s house is peaceful, and filled with early morning light. This isn’t the house I grew up in, yet it still feels like that save haven we all know as home.

Today would have been my dad’s birthday if he hadn’t died when I was a few days from my 14th birthday. 

Daddy was a firefighter, and he loved the job.

We’re not going to dwell on the loss, though.  We’re going to focus on the fact that today is my sister’s wedding day! I’ll be spending my morning recovering from a road trip from hell, my lunch at a meeting, and my evening with family. 

Side note: today is going to be as exhausting as yesterday. I’ll pay for it tomorrow  for sure. I’m already operating at a spoon deficit and it’s not even 9AM eastern time

I’m already close to crying, so I’m off to eat my feelings now. They’re going to taste like cinnabon. 

Packing my bags

I’m spending the day getting ready to head out early tomorrow, before the ass-crack of dawn. I’m heading to Georgia,  the place where it all began for me.

Side note: according to “The Walking Dead”, it will also be the place where it all ends with a zombie apocalypse, but that’s irrelevant today since I’m currently still in Texas.

I’ve got my bags mostly packed with all of the things one needs for a road trip; like Little Debbie snacks, peach flavored sparkling water, and the card with my sister’s gift money in it. You know, the important shit. As I sit here typing this, I realize that I almost forgot to pack the expensive-ass outfit I had to buy for this evening wedding, because that’s what kind of idiot I am. I’ll be staying at mom’s for a few days after the wedding, so of course I already packed enough clothes and shoes for a month, because obviously. 

Side note: a huge shout-out and much love to Angie over at youlookfab [dot] com for helping me pick an outfit of pieces that I look forward to wearing in the future! She is amazing, as are all the people that participate in the discussions there

It’s always anxiety inducing to head back to the place from whence I came. There are so many memories, and so much wreckage. Families can be dicey in the best of circumstances; I’m sad to say that the first 35 years of my life were not the best of circumstances. Then there’s the anxiety involved with being away from home, and Sunshine, and Mollie. Who will cook chicken for Mollie even night? Who will pack Sunshine a lunch every morning? Who will wash dishes and do laundry and… I’m already exhausted just thinking about the backlog of housework that will be waiting for me when I return.

However,  my little sister is getting married, and I need to be there. No matter how awful, how insane I got during my active addiction, whenever I showed up at home for a visit my sister always showed up to see me. The least I can do is go to her wedding. Besides,  my sister is awesome and I want some cake.

Side note: I’m hoping that I don’t ever have to make good on my promise to hunt her groom down and make him regret it if he ever hurts my sister. Because that’s the sort of thing I don’t know if Sunshine would bail me out of jail for doing.

Since many miles of my drive (hell, whole fucking states) have no decent new-rock-type radio stations, I went to the pawn shops & the $5 bin at Walmart so I could go old-school on this trip–the CD player in my truck actually works, but I have so few CDS that I had to go buy a few. The playlist for this road trip includes lots of Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, Chevelle, Nine Inch Nails, and a band out of Shreveport called The American Tragedy; and some Zucchero & Kenny Wayne Shepherd for when I need to lower my blood pressure after all that hard-driving music that helps me eat up the miles on I20.

I’ll be taking my tablet with me; and it has a data plan, so you’ll be getting my “notes from the road” while I’m gone, complete with pictures. Exciting, no?

Been busy

I haven’t posted in a few days. I’ve been a bit busy. I overestimated my spoons yesterday, and wound up spending my day pickling okra and canning tomatoes.

We’ve had two of Sunshine’s granddaughters here with us for the weekend while their dad attends a seminar in the metroplex. If you’re ever low on spoons, don’t try and care for little kids. They have so much energy, and I really struggled to keep up with the flow of conversation emanating from their minds😄 They’re beautiful little kids, well behaved and sweet; the just have way more energy than my wrong-side-of-forty ass can hope to muster.

I have work today, but tomorrow I hope to be back to post my response to the blogger tag I was nominated for. Then I’ll be filling y’all in on all the stuffs and things that have been happening around here. (Hint: there’s been progress on the house, lots of food has been preserved, and more food to preserve is coming).

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, filled with enough: enough laughter to chase away the tears, enough years to appreciate the laughter; enough fellowship with friends to fill your heart with love, and enough solitude to find your center again after the companionship; enough sustenance to drive away the hunger, enough hunger to help you appreciate good food; I hope you had enough.