Yesterday, when I got ready to do some yogas and shit, I decided I’d put on some music. Music can be so calming. They say it even tames the Savage beast.
I busted out my laptop and an external speaker and opened up iTunes.
What do you good folks think I picked to listen to? Maybe some classical, or new age; or even some Mercan December, who is global traveller DJ known for his Sufi inspired music?
Metallica. The “Load” CD.
What can I say? Metallica has so many songs that haunt me. Their S&M cd set was fucking brilliant; they pimped out an entire symphony orchestra FFS. I chose “Load” because there’s some good shit on there that somehow haunts me just as much as the S&M experiment, perhaps because it’s just so raw without all those strings and woodwinds added in: The Outlaw Torn, Mama Said, Until it Sleeps…
Side note: it’s actually pretty brilliant, that whole idea of yoga to Metallica. It’s a great use of conflicting styles, rather like a very violent scene in a movie being played out to soothing classical music. It’s also very unexpected, kind of like that flower toilet brush I ordered recently.
So there is was, on my yoga mat in my living room floor, stretching my way into a few simple yoga poses. Before too long, I had decided I was enjoying the music so much that I’d just yoga my way through the entire CD. Because I’m smart like that.
I got up this morning feeling achy in muscles I forgot I fucking had. Turns out, Metallica might be better suited for workouts once I’m in better shape, rather than as motivation to push to far in the beginning stages of getting fit and healthy. Somebody please find me some professional help, because I obviously need something to save me from myself.
Final note: the upside of this whole bizarre experiment that ended in so much muscle ache? I decided it would be a great idea to ask Santa for a Samsung gear fit 2 or a fitbit to help me stay motivated. In my book, that makes the entire Metallica-yoga experiment a smashing success.