After my doctor’s appointment yesterday, I went to the evil empire (a.k.a. wally world) to get my prescriptions filled. Because the evil empire.pharmacy kept fucking them up, I was in the big box store for over an hour. Which meant a lot of random shit found its way to my buggy, like all those pills we talked about last night.
The general consensus seems to be that I’m getting older and I now need to go get myself one of those old lady pill organizers.
There’s this part of me that is resistant to the idea, kind of like I was resistant to minivans in my 20s. I mean, seriously, minivans made a statement that I really just wasn’t ready to make at that point in my life. Pill organizers say something that I’m not emotionally ready to say about my life at this point.
In the abstract, I have no problem with getting older. I’m not one to buy into they hype and start buying anti-aging creams and dying my hair to cover my grey. Fuck that, I earned every grey hair on my head, right? Everybody ages, and that which we resist persists.
So hypothetically, I’m ok with getting older. Everybody does it, I’m not trying to fight it because that requires more energy than I’m willing to invest.
It’s not just the pill organizer that’s bothering me, though. As I wandered through the evil empire, I realized that I wasn’t seeing things as clearly as I used to. I knew my vision was less than perfect; hell, I’ve already got glasses for distance vision that I use for driving, and reading glasses for my hobby activities. Yesterday’s vision problems were more than just distance vision or reading vision. It was the middle distance that was fuzzier than I’m accustomed to.
So now, along with my old lady pill organizer, I’ve got to go get me some bifocals or trifocals or some shit.
Ultimately, I’m mostly just grateful to still be here. So many addicts never make it to the rooms of 12 step fellowships. Of those who do make it, so few stay; even fewer stay clean. I’m still here; and mostly, everything still works. I never thought I’d be alive this long.
I’m getting older. I guess it’s better than the alternative, so I’ll just roll with it best I can.