It’s laundry day here in the buttfuck middle of nowhere. I didn’t do any laundry last week. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch.
Sunshine was out of town, so there wasn’t as much getting dirtied up around here. Well, nothing much except kitchen towels and rags. I pulled most of my kitchen towels and rags from their designated spot to hang until laundry day (so they don’t mold and mildew in the hamper and ruin actual clothes). The upside is that now I know what happened to all my kitchen rags and towels.
Sunshine got home Friday night, and brought a week’s worth of dirty clothes home. I managed to get all of that thrown in the wash yesterday morning before work, and he got them dried and put away for me. He can be so awesome sometimes.
This morning, I decided that it was time to do laundry and clean my house because OMGWTF it’s really bad.
When I went to pull the dirty laundry out of the hamper, I found clothes that had been dirty for so long I forgot I owned them.
side note: y’all probably think I’m joking. I’m totally not. I found shirts and pants I forgot I owned. I’m so fucking pathetic.
I threw all the laundry into the middle of the living room floor and started sorting it. Here is how my sorting process went down this morning.
Does it have a zipper? If yes, it goes in this pile. Apparently, things with zippers is a laundry sorting category now. Because I don’t want the zippers on those pants I forgot I owned to be snagging and ruining those tops I forgot I owned.
The next question I asked myself was “is it black or almost black?” That took care of almost half of the rest of the dirty clothes. Apparently, Sunshine and I favor a similar color palette in our clothes. Black, and almost black. For me, almost black can include many shades of grey and blue; for Sunshine, it includes shades of black, faded black, and denim.
The last question I asked myself was “will the bleach cleaners in these rags fuck up it up and make me cry?” If bleach spots on something wouldn’t make me cry, it went into the last pile. There are many shades of white, grey, and off-white; and none of it will be irreparably harmed by any sort of cleaning chemicals. I saved this load for last so I could clean the bathroom and put the rags in that load.
Sunshine had a full load in yesterday, and I have at least three loads today. Why in hell did I let it get like this? I’m kind of thinking I didn’t. The fucking laundry hamper was only 1/3 full when Sunshine got home late Friday, so I’m blaming it on him.
Now, I should probably go clean the bathroom. Because eeewwwwwwwwww.