Twelve

It’s been twelve years and one day since I got clean. I still remember how bad it hurt to detox. I also know that recovery from addiction is the reason why I started wanting a simpler life. I could never have imagined where my recovery would take me, and I could never have imagined a life so rich. We might not have a lot of money, but we have very rich lives today.

I’m going to tell you a little story that has nothing much to do with me personally, but a whole lot to do with miracles and hope.

When I had almost two years clean, a friend in recovery from New Orleans was traveling I20 from Alabama to the continental divide on his Harley. He was coming up on the Shreveport/Bossier area in the rain when a deer jumped out in front of him on the highway. He hit it and went down.

The next morning, after we had picked him up from the hotel, he told us the whole story. He was in the slow lane when the deer jumped out. He hit the deer, which laid the bike down, and he and the bike started to slide down the highway. A semi roared past in the hammer lane, narrowly missing my friend and his Harley. When my friend came to a rest, he was amazed to discover he was uninjured. His rain suit had a small hole in it from sliding down the interstate, and there was a scuff on the side of the heel of one boot. The front end of his bike needed some repairs, but it was not damaged that badly considering what had just occurred.

My friend then said that some people say there are no miracles anymore. My friend said that was incorrect. He said that Jesus may not be walking around the planet raising Lazarus from the dead and healing the lepers, but that didn’t mean that there were no miracles. My friend said that there are still miracles. My friend said that babies are being born all the time, flowers bloom; miracles DO happen–we just have to open our eyes and our hearts to see them. He said that he had just hit a deer and walked away with a small hole in his rainsuit and a scuff on the side of his boot heel, and if that wasn’t a miracle then nothing was.

I definitely agree with my friend. Miracles DO happen. Any addict who stays clean for a day is a fucking miracle. I am the miracle. Sunshine is the miracle.

So, for any of you out there struggling with addiction or alcoholism, there is hope. There are miracles. Miracles happen. I am living proof.

final note: I am most decidedly not bragging here. I didn’t become a miracle all by myself. The only part I actually did by myself was detox, because nobody could detox for me BUT me. The rest? Well, that was the people in 12 step fellowships who showed me how to live. That was the 12 steps that changed me into somebody I never thought I could be. That was a higher power that does for me that which I cannot do for myself. I’ve just been around long enough to know that, imperfect and fucked up as I still am, I am clean today and that makes me the miracle.

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2 thoughts on “Twelve

  1. Congratulations! My husband is a recovering addict and has found a great community I’m Refuge Recovery meetings – they’re Buddhist based and while everyone there has dealt with addiction, no one talks about their drug of choice, rather they focus on meditation and general discussions about things in life related to it and one’s past – it’s kind of awesome. He was an opiate addict for 20 years and got off them on his own accord (but with a much better medical support system in Australia that’s less punishing/judgmental of addiction compared to the US), and I’m so glad he made it through … And ultimately found me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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