I might not have ever gotten interested in stuff like simple living, mindfulness, intentional communities, and etcetera if I hadn’t gotten clean. One of the important things that I learned in my early recovery is that I need to “Keep It Simple, Stupid”.
I can complicate something as simple and natural as respiration. Seriously, I totally can. COPD might have something to do with that, but it doesn’t entirely explain it away. So, when it came to my recovery, I really had to keep it simple. Little things, like
- not matter what, don’t pick up
- if I don’t pick it up, I can’t get high on it
- make meetings
- work steps
- help somebody else
You get the idea.
The longer I stayed clean, the more I wanted simplicity and serenity. So I quit hanging out with people who loved drama and chaos. I quit dating men who were complete asshats. I quit hanging on to old possessions that I really didn’t need in my life anymore. You get the idea.
When Sunshine and I moved into this magic bus, it was supposed to be a temporary thing; but the longer I lived in this tiny space, the more I minimized and simplified. We eventually decided that living small was the way we wanted to live permanently.
So when Sunshine and Mr B decided that we needed to start an intentional community, it felt like the next logical step. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the process, even the parts that annoy the shit out of me.
However, this last week or so, I’ve been forced by my injuries and pain to get back to the basics. Keep It Simple Stupid. I’ve had to think before I act: no lifting heavy objects, no quick movements, carefully finding a comfortable position for sitting, etcetera. I’ve had to be still and rest so that I can heal. It’s been hard. I’m not used to this much inactivity.
It’s a good thing I am clean and work the steps. It’s helped me get comfortable in my own skin, comfortable enough that I can sit still with my own thoughts. This has taken longer to recover from than I thought. I think the muscles in my back might finally be trying to let go and relax. Everything still aches; and I can still feel the stiffness, inflammation, pinching, and all that. The meds have it hurting a lot less even though it’s all still doing whatever it was doing.
I have no idea if this situation will ever completely correct itself, and that sucks. However, I can’t focus on that, or I’ll get depressed and start to cry and that won’t do me any good at all. So I’ll continue to stretch out on the couch and binge watch Netflix. There’s a whole list of stuff I want to watch, and not enough hours to watch it all.