Today is my birthday. Which really just means I’m another year older, another year farther past 40. I’m on the wrong side of 40, which sounds so critical; I could say I’m on the right side of 50 but that is just negativity from a different angle.
I’m not overly bothered by being “on the wrong side of 40”. Considering my history of addiction and the accompanying insanity, I consider it quite the honor to have made it this far. I’m also old enough to not be bothered by all the advertising and negative messaging that bombards us on a daily basis.
side note: I’m probably thinking about this so much because the EcoFeminist wrote about it the other day and did it rather well IMO
I’m also probably thinking about my age because I have some major pain right now. Sciatica is not something I would have ever thought would be a problem for me. Which is stupid, because addiction and the accompanying insanity beat my body up pretty badly. Even though my pain levels have decreased, none of the tightness/inflammation/pinching and etcetera feels much better. I’m sitting here on my birthday wondering if I’ve done permanent damage to my body because I’m a stubborn asshole that doesn’t know when to stop.
So, I think today I shall try and find something to buy myself for my birthday. Because Sunshine seems to have forgotten it. I’ll give him a pass, though. I did forget his 50th, which was a total dick thing for me to do. Also? He’s getting my car fixed and I didn’t even have to drive it to our mechanic (which would have been extremely unpleasant considering my seriously diminished physical capacity at the moment).
But, first… A nap. These medications they have me on leave me feeling rather lethargic, especially in the mornings.