I’m an idiot

Here in the American south, we have grown accustomed to most of the year being too fucking hot and too fucking humid. We’re used to cutting grass and stacking brick and carrying on like nothing is amiss even when the thermometer reads 112F in the shade. Like, 112F is not that unusual for us here in the Louisiana and Texas area. Hell, when you figure in the humidity, that gives us a heat index of something near 120F, and yet we still carry on.

We might be some tough old birds all summer, but when winter (or what passes for winter) comes around, we all become meat popsicles as soon as the thermometer says anything below 70F.

For the last number of years, I’ve done a closet clean-out every spring and fall. Every spring, I look at all those sweaters and shit that I used to stay warm while it was cold, and I think “What the hell? This is Texas!” and I donate those warm, basic, boring, merino wool sweaters. Of course, 9 months later, the thermometer drops below 70F and I have nothing to wear to stay warm so off to TJMaxx I go to comb through clearance racks to find some warm, basic, boring, merino wool sweaters so I can stay warm.

I’ve apparently gotten better about picking shit to stay warm, or remembering that it does get cold (relatively speaking) here in Texas. I managed to hang on to a few warm garments this past spring. However, all of my warm, basic, boring, merino wool sweaters are nowhere to be found.

Which sucks, because we are looking at temperatures in the low teens this weekend, with wind chills in the low single digits and possibly in the negatives.

side note: I am moderately concerned. We have weathered snow and ice and 18 degree nights in the magic bus. We’ve never weathered it in an unsheltered location like this one (seriously, there’s nothing to stop the wind from hammering us from the North, West, or East). We’ve also never weathered anything as cold as this weekend is shaping up to be; in the past, we always got to enjoy temps above freezing during the day but that’s not going to happen for several days in a row starting Sunday. I digress…

I dug around in my closets and cabinets and drawers and took a mental inventory of what I have to stay warm. I had a few pairs of fleece lined leggings, a pair of flannel lined jeans, several nice oversized sweaters that would be nice and warm if they weren’t shredded,a couple of cotton base layers I got from my mom, and a couple of fleece tops and jackets. So while I was making a grocery run to get some bananas and cornflakes to tide us over through the coming freeze, I grabbed one more pair of fleece lined leggings from the big box store and 3 sweaters from the Goodwill.

side note: people donate some good shit. I found a 100% merino wool JCrew sweater new with tags for $4, an immaculate Brooks Brothers 100% merino wool cardigan for $3, and a wool blend Calvin Klein sweater with faux leather shoulder details (in very good condition) for $3. Base layers, FTW! I digress…

So this coming spring, when I get ready to do a closet clean-out, I’m hoping somebody will remind me that those warm, basic, boring, merino wool sweaters that I want to donate? Are in my closet for a fucking reason. Hopefully, I won’t be an idiot. Hopefully, I’ll tuck them away with some cedar and have them on hand next winter when the temperatures drop below 70F.

final note: I still feel like shit. Shopping was not fucking fun with a pounding sinus headache and fucked up back. I’m hoping that the coming days of couch time will allow some of the muscle aches to heal.


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