It’s not a good omen when the day begins with an emergency

I woke up to some north wind causing a ruckus outside. I could hear the shade sails popping each time a gust blew. Annoying, but not anything I’m not used to hearing. I could tell by the motion of the magic bus that the wind had shifted around and was now blowing from the north; the pink house was no longer shielding us from it and I could feel it causing the RV to sway lightly. Again, annoying, but nothing I’m not used to feeling.

As I sat on the couch sipping my morning coffee, I heard creaking. The wind was hitting the slide-out and causing it to creak as it torqued against the side of the bus. Annoying, but not anything that actually caused me concern. It’s an RV, after all; and RVs are designed to travel down the highway at highway speeds, so a little 15-20 mile an hour wind? Is a lot of ain’t shitness to my magic bus.

I hadn’t had near enough coffee to be ready for  a normal day when I realized that “Houston, we have a problem”. I could hear the corner of the shade sail sliding across the roof of the bus. I ran outside to look and see what I could see…

And both shade sails had torn at the corners on the north side. It gets better. Sunshine was at the clinic in Ada for some regularly scheduled appointment for his pedicure in the diabetic foot care clinic or something, so I was on my own. I was going to just let the shade sails flop around until Sunshine returned; then I noticed that the power line that feeds the pink house and the internet cable that provides service to the family B were both in danger of being smacked loose from their moorings by the flopping shade sails.

The contractor that is doing some work inside the pink house was nice enough to come out and look at it for me, and grabbed a ladder so we could fix the problem somehow. But Sunshine was telling us we could not do the one thing that needed to be done to prevent any serious damage to critical services (specifically, take the shade sails down altogether). The nice contractor did the only thing he could do at that point–he went back inside and went back to work.

I grabbed the one thing that I know to solve many problems, gaffer’s tape, and proceeded to start climbing up to the roof. Apparently, Sunshine had alerted Mr B to the nature of the emergency (I didn’t even know Mr B was home or I would have begged for help my damn self).

Mr B and I actually agreed on the best course of action and proceeded to take the shade sails down completely. Sorry Sunshine, but it really did need to be done. They were just going to keep ripping and flopping around and fucking shit up until somebody did take them down, so we did it sooner rather than later. We kind of like having modern conveniences like electricity and internet.

It’s never a good omen when the day starts off with an emergency. With any luck, there won’t be any escalation and it will just be cleaning up messes caused by this wind. I guess we’re going to have to file the shade sails under the “things that didn’t work” tag. Now we have to find somebody who does repairs to tarps/sails/heavy duty fabrics, and get them to reinforce the shade sails for us so this doesn’t happen as often in the future. Or find a new solution altogether.

Back to the drawing board, I guess.

At least this time, the grommets and other hardware didn’t smash the shit out of any of the windows. Which reminds me, I need to find a solution for that cracked-to-hell windshield from the last time this shit happened.

Yeah, file the shade sails under #thingsthatdidntwork.

final note: not a good time for me to be having to climb on top of the magic bus and fight to take these shade sails down in a steady north wind. My sinuses have been congested, and it is starting to affect my ears, giving me an increased likelihood of experiencing vertigo. It doesn’t end there, though. My TMJ has been acting up, which inevitably causes an earache. All of this means that the last place for me to be this morning was on top of the magic bus in a steady wind and I damn sure shouldn’t have been trying to hold down giant sails while I was up there.

All’s well that ends well, I guess.

Now, I’m going to go see if I can get this vertigo and dizziness to settle down.


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