Busy week

Today, Sunshine is pouring the concrete for his outdoor sink area. I don’t know how his mind decides which projects are a priority and which ones can wait, but that’s where we are today with Sunshine’s to-do list.

Wednesday Sunshine has an appointment at the tribal health care center for a routine procedure. This is not a bad thing, I just don’t know what we’re going to do about baby Mollie for the day since I have to go with him to drive him home and there is no doggy daycare anywhere nearby. My poor puppy may just have to stay home alone, which I’m sure she would prefer anyway.

Thursday, my car goes into the shop for front end alignment, which is the last step in the front end work that we have slowly been taking on since we bought the car some 40,000 miles ago. I’ll never forget the first time I drove that car. It was a rainy day, the control arms were bad (but I didn’t know that at the time) and I was terrified I was going to die trying to get it to the shop.

Tomorrow, I think I’m going to try and get my ass in at the local sliding scale clinic, just for a basic checkup. Anxiety has become my constant companion these last couple of days (worse than usual), and a basic doctor’s appointment will either help relieve it or show why it was actually a rational fear, right? What’s funny is that if I stay busy/distracted, it completely goes away.

I’m starting to wonder if anybody is ever going to actually join us here. Part of me loves the solitude; another part of me knows that isolation is so very dangerous for me. The new lady came out for a few hours the other day and did some more cleaning and prep-work for her arrival, so maybe she will actually show up soon. I do know that Sunshine and I by ourselves can’t do all the things here–we need some fucking help.

I’m also sick to death with feeding cats, filling their water dishes, and scooping their fucking litter boxes. We have ten cats, one of them is pregnant, and I am sick of caring for cats. Sunshine and I are spending a fortune on cat food and that problem is only going to get worse. I’m telling you that we are going to be overrun with cats within six months if somebody doesn’t get some of these little fuckers spayed and neutered.

I will admit that my exhaustion levels have improved greatly since I made the decision that I am doing the bare minimum out here. Since I quit worrying about the grass beyond my immediate living area and all the other things that I just cannot realistically do, I do feel better. Now I just have to find ways to distract myself so the anxiety doesn’t kick my ass.

Yesterday, I tried to sand all of the slices of cedar tree branches that Sunshine cut up for me but I had to give that up when his electric sander tool quit working, so i guess I’ll have to deal with some of the other craft hoard projects on my list. At least the craft projects keep me occupied in the air conditioning most of the time.

Now, I’ve got to go start getting myself psyched up to go to work this afternoon. Maybe it’s the knowledge that I have to round up all of the boss’ farm animals this evening at closing time that is giving me anxiety today.


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