I initially started writing here because I needed to write. I continued to write because some of this shit is funny and this made for an easy way to share the funny with some of my peoples.
I’m supposed to be writing about our transition to a simpler, more off-grid life. I’m supposed to be getting more eco-friendly and all that happy horseshit.
Here lately, there’s nothing simple about life. There also isn’t much going on in the simple living department. Hell, I wouldn’t even call what we’ve been doing “living”.
We’ve barely been doing anything.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
There has been no progress on the community we’re supposed to be building. There is no community, unless 2 humans a dog and 3 cats counts as a community.
Now, I understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I also know that Romulus had Remus to help. Between the two of us, Sunshine and I have the combined effect of about half a human being right now. He’s undergoing treatment and I’m just lathering rinsing repeating trying to focus on breathing.
We still have no tractor, our lawnmower is out of service, all three weedeaters cumulatively don’t make one properly functioning machine, there are still too many giant diesel dually pickups in the yard, there’s a fucking boat in the yard (that can’t even be put in the water), there are countless trailers in the yard, there’s patio furniture everywhere you turn in the backyard and no one to use all of it, there’s a non-cranking pickup truck in the yard, there’s a water leak under the laundry room, there’s a debris/trash pile that is growing into one hell of a base for a dope-fiend bonfire (biggerbetterfastermore), the freezer is still empty, the pink house is a giant storage unit, the cacti are being covered by out of control grass….
I could go on but what’s the point?
Eventually, I do hope that this does become a thriving community of people who understand that “we are none of us alone, we are all connected”. I hope that, someday, there are people here who understand that we must work together because none of us can do this thing called life alone. I hope that one day I am surrounded by people who don’t just want to take what they can for themselves, because the world has entirely too many of those self-centered greedy types as it is.
Until that is my reality, I’m just trying to get through the next three to four months of Sunshine’s treatment kicking his ass. Hopefully, the end of his treatment corresponds to an end to this brutal heat/humidity/pollen that is making my COPD worse. Because when Sunshine and I are functioning as normal, we make a great team.
Until there is actually some community here, until there is some simple homesteading type living going on, I will continue to use this as my safe place to say “I feel like shit and I don’t know how much longer I can do this”.
The one thing I won’t do is give up. I’ve learned through the 12 step fellowships that there is always hope.