I hate storm season

Ever since we got hit by a surprise tornado on April 9, 2009, I’ve hated storm season. I follow a lot of weather guys on twitter. Some of them provide good information, some of them are just flat-out heroes (like James Spann, who stayed on-air for ten hours during the outbreak that wiped parts of Tuscaloosa off the map in 2011), and some of them I just follow to make sure they aren’t anywhere near me (like Reed Timmer, because if he shows up in your neighborhood you might as well prepare to seek shelter deep underground, or Jim Cantore/the weathergod of doom whose appearance in your area marks a high probability that some end of days shit is about to happen and you should prepare to meet your maker).

I’ve lived in the ArkLaTex for years now, right at the intersection of traditional tornado alley and the so-called “Dixie alley”, which means that storm season has lasted from March and April (for Dixie alley) through May and June (for the traditional tornado alley).

Well, we’ve now moved closer to traditional tornado alley. Which is to say we are now closer to Moore Oklahoma (which seems to be the one place that tornadoes seem determined to completely obliterate). Which means that storm season takes on a whole new level of menace. Local TV stations employ dedicated storm chasers that they count on to help them keep people safe. Hell, KFOR up there in Oklahoma City has fucking helicopters that chase storms. These guys around here do not play when it comes to severe weather.

Now, let me digress a moment and bitch about Microsoft. The powers that be at Microsoft decided to set things up so that Windows10 update files automatically download if you “x” out of the dialogue box telling you to get your free windows10 upgrade now. The total downloads are over 5 gigs. How do I know this? Because it happened to me. I had to download and install this little widget/app/program thingie that wiped all the files off my hard drive and changed my settings so that Microsoft can never force me to download an upgrade again. However, this 5+ gigs of downloads was over 10% of our satellite internet data cap for the month, so we are getting throttled now, until the monthly billing cycle ends and our data allowance resets. Why is this relevant?

Because last night we had severe storms roll through and I couldn’t pull up weather radar because I was getting throttled because we exceeded our data allowance.

We actually had wave after wave after wave of storms roll through last night. 8pm, 10pm, 12am, 2:30am, 4:30am, 5am…

I had no way to check radar to see what was going on.The wind was too much for me to raise the aerial antenna on the roof of the bus (last thing I need is the wind ripping the antenna off my RV and leaving a gaping hole for water to come rushing in), so I couldn’t pick up any local weather broadcasts. Thank heaven I have a NOAA weather radio and was able to stick some batteries in it and listen to what was going on.

Thank heaven it was just severe thunderstorms instead of tornadoes. We still have no storm shelter. That won’t arrive until mid-June.

Mollie and I made it through the night safely, just a little sleep deprived. But you can bet that no new Microsoft products will enter this home. Not now, not ever. I’ve hated Microsoft wince they got rid of windows 3.1, but this 5+ gigs of downloads that I didn’t ask for and didn’t want was really the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Also, know that come “secondary storm season” this fall, as well as storm season next spring, Cindy will probably be living in that storm shelter that arrives in June.


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