More motivation than I hought

So I’m actually a day behind on posts about actual events going on in my life. I like to have a post scheduled for the upcoming day so that I don’t go radio silent just because I got hyper focused on some task or another. Which means yesterday’s post about to-do lists was actually about the things I wanted to do Tuesday. 

My sponsor told me to put everything on it: eat lunch, do yoga, cook Mollie’s dinner…. Her reasoning was sound so I rolled with it. She said that it gave me more things I could cross off my list. I also liked that it reminded me to take care of myself instead of just beating myself up by getting hyper focused on the tasks at hand; because I’ll totally forget to eat if I’m in the middle of something big.

Anyway, this post is being written Wednesday for publication on Thursday. So I’m talking about my yesterday, which will be 2 days ago for you guys. 

Side note: I should probably stop thinking about that statement before I create a rip in the space-time continuum. 

Anyways… even though it may not LOOK like I got a lot done yesterday, the magic bus certainly FEELS cleaner. I’m totally shocked at how much I got done.

I even made at Christmas gift in the midst of all that activity.

There’s still quite a bit to do, but I’m not feeling as overwhelmed by it all.

So, maybe telling on myself to my sponsor, my BFF, and the world at large actually gave me some motivation to do all that shit. So thank you for your help!


So much to do, so little motivation to do it

My bathroom is in desperate need of a thorough cleaning. My kitchen isn’t in much better shape, even though there aren’t mustache hairs in the kitchen sink. The floors are gritty. There are random piles of yarn,  gift wrap, hunting clothes, Christmas gifts, and fuck knows what the hell else in every nook and cranny and open space in the magic bus.

I currently have no place to put our Christmas tree, and I’m not NOT having a tree. I tried that our first year in the magic bus and I didn’t like it–not one little bit.

I’ve started crocheting Christmas gifts, but that’s going much too slowly. I’ve been wrapping things as they arrive in the various delivery trucks. I’m disgusted with myself for not being creative enough to come up with more gifts that I can MAKE instead of buy; but ultimately, I have to be realistic and admit that I can’t make Sunshine a rifle scope and I can’t make a soft latex squeak toy like Mollie prefers to play with.

Side note:  seriously, she’s often a picky little bitch. She doesn’t much like the stuffed plush toys any more, and she doesn’t often play with the stiffer latex (plastic, rubber, whatever?) squeak toys; she likes the softer latex squeal toys.

So this week, I’m making myself a to-do list. I’ll also be making a to-done list so I don’t get discouraged by a lack of easily visible progress. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post about my handmade Christmas gifts real soon.

I’m putting this out there so that I can feel somewhat accountable. I’m also going to be telling my sponsor and my BFF about it so they can hold me accountable, too. I’ve got to get my ass in gear, because the house ain’t gon’ clean itself and the presents ain’t gon’ make themselves. So wish me luck, and pray to the house cleaning gods that I don’t get buried under a pile of random shit that has toppled over.

My favorite time of year

Autumn is my favorite season, but not because of pumpkin spice lattes and sweaters and boots and turkey-day and a thousand other things people like about autumn. 

Nope, with me it’s more macabre than that.

I like autumn because that’s the time of year when the world is dying. That sense that the world is dying really speaks to something inside of me that has always felt a little bit lost, a little bit drawn to the dark and depressing in life.

As I look at these pictures, I see parallels to the kinds of clothing I’m drawn to. The color palette is definitely similar, all greys and browns and dirty. The bits of tree that are broken off and lying on the ground remind me of the shredded sweaters and shot-up jeans I like to wear. It’s a bit similar to what I’m drawn to for my house: a hodgepodge of dun colored bits and bobs plucked randomly from the world around me; the dusty, dirty feeling; the stark essential of the bare trees whose leaves don’t block my view of the open sky; the shadows trying to intrude into the sunlight…

Maybe it’s my lizard brain getting ready to hibernate for the winter, or maybe I’m just weird.  Whatever it is, I really like this time of year.

Filling the freezer

Sunshine killed a deer last week. Then, Mr B killed a deer too. We’ve left these deer in coolers, packed in ice, for days. As the ice Clow lyrics melts, we drain the water off and add more ice.

Yesterday, Sunshine and Biff butchered the one Sunshine killed. Today, they are dealing with the one Mr B killed. 

I’m lying on the couch feeling like shit. My neck hurts, and I’m just generally tired just like I’m generally tired every Monday. I’m kind of relieved that the boss is closing us down on Thursday and Friday.  I can spend the week crocheting Christmas gifts and shit.

I have been poking my nose into the butchering process and helped a little bit here and there. 

I cleaned out the freezer to make sure the new stuff wound up on bottom, and I got rid of some freezer burned squirrels I found lurking in there. I organized it so that the meat we will be cooking for miss Mollie was in a separate location. We set aside quite a bit of the stuff we would normally grind up as ground venison, and we cook it up for Mollie.

I also can’t help but be proud of how well miss Mollie has kept all the cats and dogs away from the area.

I’ll just be glad when the house is finished so we have and proper workspace for this kind of thing.

Weekly progress report: it’s starting to look like something¬†

Rude Ass had almost finished the ceiling in the bathroom last time I looked in yesterday evening. 

Biff had gotten the locks installed on the front door.

We have our thankless water heater on-site.

Sunshine got one wall finished in the kitchen. I like the sort of biscuit color he ended up with.

Overall, it’s really starting to look like something, and I’m pleased as punch that it looks better than I had pictured in my mind’s eye. 

I’ve also managed to make a tiny dent in the Christmas gifts that I want to crochet. I’ll write about that another day, though. There are so many to do that they deserve their own post.

Last night, I got to clear out a major amount of space under the bed, because early next week Sunshine will be heading to Shreveport for the afternoon. I got his dad’s house sister’s jar goods all gathered together in cute little baskets I bought. I also put two Christmas ornaments in each basket. One was a clear plastic bubble that got Mardi Gras themed confetti stuffed in it. The other was a boot made from old/retired Texas license plates, made by the ladies at the local tag office and sold for a small donation to their preferred charity.

Now, I need to go get ready for work. I hope everyone has a beautiful day! 


The apocalypse is night. The end of days is upon us. The 4 horsemen are galloping our way. The first plague has erupted here in North Central Texas. 


Fucking ladybugs or Japanese lady beetles or whatever the fuck these damned things are…
They’re invading everyone’s home, trying to find their way into the walls and ceilings and light fixtures and my hair.

I borrowed Rude Ass’s shop vac yesterday and vacuumed them off my ceiling and Windows and floor, and within a half hour, there were already a significant number of new bugs crawling on my ceiling and landing in my hair.

I’m on the verge of calling an exterminator, because it passed disconcerting long ago; zoomed right through seriously disturbing, and I have no clue what the hell it is now but I’m pretty sure this won’t end well if we don’t plan a massive defense in this war against the zombie ladybugs  (or whatever the hell these things are).

If I drop off the radar, send search & rescue and the orkin man.

Shit just got real

Yesterday morning, I was instructed to sit down with the trusty interwebz and find the appliances I wanted so that we could have them on-site to build custom cabinets around them. Once I found what I liked (that was reasonably affordable) and ordered it, I had to text my sponsor. Appliances are such a commitment! Shit just got real.

Home ownership was not all it’s cracked up to be, in my experience. When something breaks, you can’t call the super (or landlord, or whatever). Property taxes, insurance, maintenance…

Yet here I am, building a house. The things I do for Sunshine.

We had originally intended to try and find used appliances, but the logistics of finding functional and (somewhat) matching appliances cobbled together from hither thither and yon became a nightmare. We decided to take advantage of those black friday sales that were already happening well before thanksgiving. I thought long and hard about what my needs would be, because I didn’t want any regrets that led to replacing something in the future.

I dug around and found a 5-burner gas stove5 burner stove

with a fifth burner that looks like it was designed to cope with my canning pots and with space to spare for keeping lids warm or even starting dinner while I’m preserving food.

A dishwasherdishwasher

which was really more about Sunshine than me. I could do without one, but Sunshine hates having to help me dry/put away dishes after hand washing them. Like, seriously, the last time I asked him to help dry dishes he snarled at me like a wounded feral dog. Fucker, I had just cooked dinner, the least he could do was help clean that shit up.

side note: we will also be having a microwave in our kitchen, because Sunshine. I don’t know why he thinks we HAVE to have a fucking microwave. I told him I didn’t want one. He just couldn’t fathom anybody NOT having a microwave. I told him that if his sister could function without a microwave, then so could we. To which he responded “sissy doesn’t have a microwave? I had ever noticed” To which I responded: “ass” I told Sunshine that if he wanted a microwave in our kitchen, it had to live in a custom base unit cabinet because it was not going on my countertop. Remember, the kitchen is the battle I have chosen and the hill I choose to die on. The only item that will be allowed to be above countertop height is the percolator coffee pot. Because obviously.

and a rather large refrigerator (to be counter depth)…a whole 22.1 cubic feet! It’ll be like having my own walk-in cooler when compared to what I’ve been dealing with in this RV for so long.big fridge

I had originally chosen a different refrigerator that wasn’t so big. It was chosen solely based on the aesthetic appeal. Mr B rightly pointed out that I would be unhappy with it, and I would get that way pretty quick. My current fridge is small out of necessity, and both Sunshine and I are constantly bitching about the never-ending game of Tetris that happens whenever we open the fridge. Mr B also reminded me that I was regularly having to borrow space in everybody else’s refrigerator whenever the boss gave me 3 bushels of peaches because they weren’t up to his standards. So, I found the biggest counter depth fridge I could find that wasn’t exorbitantly expensive.

They should be delivered right before thanksgiving.

Somebody send chocolate fast. Adulting is scary, and I need to eat a candy bar and call it lunch to compensate.